[Don’t forget to see the Halacha
Encounters below!]
“V’yidei Moshe kiveidim vayikchu even vayasimu tachtav
vayashav aleyha…”
“And Moshe’s hands grew heavy, so they took a stone and put
it under him and he sat on it…”
Rashi explains that Moshe sat on a stone rather than on pillows,
because he did not wish to sit in comfort while Klal Yisroel
was in danger and suffering.
This incident exemplifies the lifestyle of Moshe Rabbeinu.
As we see in the beginning of Parshas Shemos,
the Torah relates two stories from the early years of his life.
The first story reads, “It happened in those days that Moshe
grew up and went out to his brothers and observed their burdens,
and he saw an Egyptian man striking a Jew; he turned this way
and that, and saw that there was no man so he struck down the
Egyptian and hid him in the sand.” [Shemos 2:11]
The second story reads, “He went out the next day and behold
two Jews were fighting. He said to the wicked one, “why would
you strike your fellow?” [Shemos 2:12] Why does the
Torah pick these two stories? To teach us that the attribute
which Moshe had that made him “the leader” was just that – nosei
b’olo shel chaveiro, sharing the burden of a friend.
There is a story told about the Hornisteipel Rav, zt”l, where
he was having trouble with his heart. He went to the doctor
to see what could be done to help his condition. In those
days, they did not have the technology of today, which can
set the heart pumping normally. Instead of paddles to shock
the heart, they took a hot piece of metal and placed it on
the spine to shock the person. When The Rav went to see the
doctor, the doctor placed the hot metal on his back and he
didn’t move. He tried it again and again and the Rav still
didn’t move. The doctor asked him, “I do this every day and
I never saw anyone not react. What makes you different?”
The Hornisteipel Rav answered, “I am a Rav every day. I hear
the tzaros, the suffering, of Klal Yisroel both on the
national level and on the personal level. I live their tza’ar. The tza’ar of
this one piece of hot metal does not come close to the tza’ar of
Klal Yisroel.”
Every person needs to act like a leader to some extent. Klal
Yisroel is suffering. If we work on this attribute of sharing
the burden of Klal Yisroel, both on the general level and on
the personal level, perhaps HaShem will listen to, and answer
our heartfelt tefillos.
Rabbi Eisenbach learns nightly in the Kollel
and is the head of the Zichron Aharon Mechanchim Kollel.
Halacha Encounters
Sheva Brochos
Rabbi Ephraim Friedman
It is common practice during the
week following a wedding, for family and friends to assemble
at festive seudos (meals) held in honor of the new couple,
culminating in the recital of sheva brochos. In this edition
of Halacha Encounters I would like to briefly discuss some
of the basic halachos governing these seudos and the conditions
under which the sheva brochos may be recited.
Which couples are entitled to sheva brochos?
A couple will qualify for seven days of sheva brochos following
their marriage, when either the chosson or kallah is marrying
for the first time. If, however, both individuals were previously
married, regardless of whether their respective marriages ended
in divorce or in the death of a spouse, sheva brochos are recited
only on the wedding day or, according to some authorities,
at the first meal following the marriage, even if the wedding
day has passed. (If the chosson was previously married, and
the kallah-although never married-is not a virgin, sheva brochos
are likewise recited on the wedding day or at the first meal
only.)
Computing the seven days
The day on which the wedding occurs
is considered day one of seven, even if the wedding is held
in the late afternoon. For example, if a couple gets married
on a Sunday anytime before sundown, Shabbos will be the last
day to recite sheva brochos. If the wedding is held Sunday
night after dark, since in halacha it is already Yom Sheini
(“Monday”), sheva brochos may be recited through the following
Sunday.
Even when
the chupah (ceremony) alone was held before sundown but the
wedding meal did not take place till after dark, the opinion
of most Poskim is that the day of the chupah is counted as
the first day. If the chupah was held bein hashmashos (between
sunset and nightfall) a Rav should be consulted as to which
day the sheva brochos conclude.
On the seventh day, sheva brochos
can only be recited until sunset. If a seudah held on that
day is not completed with sufficient time to bentch and recite
the brochos before sundown, the brochos should be omitted. One
might opt to shorten the seudah, bentch and recite sheva brochos
before sunset, and after a twenty or thirty minute break resume
the meal. Anyone who bentched and wishes to resume eating
will at that time need to wash again and recite hamotzi, or
else recite the appropriate brocha rishona over whatever (non-bread)
items they choose to eat. Of course, sheva brochos will not
be recited at the conclusion of this portion of the meal.
Even when the seventh day is
Shabbos, sheva brochos may not be recited after sunset.
Who must be present for sheva brochos
to be recited?
Sheva brochos may be recited only
if:
a) the chosson and kallah both attend
the seudah,
b) the chosson and kallah both eat bread,
and
c) there are at least ten males (age
13 and above) at the meal, including the chosson. Of the ten,
at least seven must eat bread (i.e. the chosson and six others)
and the other three must partake of the meal in some manner.
It is not necessary for all ten men to be present during the
entire meal. Individuals who arrive towards the end can be
counted in as long as they partake of the seudah as outlined
above and remain for bentching. In fact, this is true of the
chosson and kallah as well.
Often, the chosson and kallah or the host will honor various
participants at the seudah with the privilege of reciting one
of the sheva brochos. It is preferable that this honor be
reserved for individuals who have partaken of the meal, although
there is basis when necessary for allowing one who did not
eat to recite a brocha.
The Ponim Chadoshos Requirement
Reciting sheva brochos at any given
seudah also requires the presence of at least one “Ponim Chadoshos”. Ponim
chadoshos refers to an individual who did not attend the wedding
or any previous seudah held in honor of this chosson and kallah. One
who attended the chupah (wedding ceremony) but left beofore
the meal will qualify as ponim chadoshos at a subsequent seudah,
according to many authorities.
The ponim chadoshos should
be an individual who adds a new dimension to the simcha. He
should be a friend or relative of the chosson or kallah or
their parents, or else a distinguished individual whose presence
is of particular significance. According to the majority of
Poskim, the ponim chadoshos must be a male.
If for some reason the ponim
chadoshos is present but unable to partake of the meal, sheva
brochos are still recited. However, there is a strong preference
they he participate by eating bread, or at least, some other
food.
On Shabbos, the requirement
of ponim chadoshos does not apply at the first two seudos,
and sheva brochos are recited regardless. At the third Shabbos
meal (shalosh seudos) if no ponim chadoshos is present, sheva
brochos may be recited only if the chosson (preferably) or
another participant delivers a Torah discourse.
Aside
from Rabbi Friedman’s learning full time in the Kollel, he is
alo the Moreh Hora’ah for Beis HaMedrash Mekor HaChaim. Rabbi
Friedman is currently giving a series of “Shovevim Shiurim” on
Taharas Hamishpacha, Sunday nights at 8:45 at the Kollel (through
January 27th).
Now
Available Online!
The Five Minute Hilchos Tefillah Shiur is
available in Real Audio format on the Chicago Community Kollel
website at: http://www.cckollel.org/halachashiur-fs.html
Come and hear
over 60 5-minute shiurim on
the laws, customs and deeper meanings of our daily Tefillos.